I was sitting beside a guy on the subway today and he had a box in his lap. A small, white box that read:

Dan

(scrawled in green marker)

And below that:

TURKEY

(printed on a little sticker).

If my name's Dan and I'm due to eat a sandwich-a turkey sandwich, and it's been provided in a little white box, with my name on it and an indication as to the type of sandwich: Kill me. Kill me now.