Fuck Ford

Fuck Gerald Ford. I mean really. Enough already, day after day of speeches and salutes and viewings and reminiscing and of the laying in state. All anyone can seem to say is he was a nice enough guy. Maybe he was. Who gives a fuck? Who are we burying, Willy Loman? This was a kindly Midwestern good ol' guy, the epitome of a particularly bland postwar type, the decent yet uncourageous American male. Good enough to let his wife outshine him, not too good to pardon Nixon in return for the presidency. In deference to another asshole president, he was kind enough to die when the Iraq War reached a gruesome new depth: the deadliest month for civilians. And what an irony that he upstaged James Brown, something no living man could do. Could you possibly even imagine a greater distance in every measurable way between two contemporaneous U.S. citizens than there was between those two? Hail Black Caesar. As for Gerry, let's bury him, not praise him.